The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
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Do I have a choice?
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just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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