I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
