didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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