And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The beer is more important than you right now.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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