I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
