i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
