We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
