His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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