Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
