i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he was CRYING into my vagina
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize