I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
