just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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