so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Terrible idea I love it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
