He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
