Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
