I think I died a long time ago.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
