"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
