I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
