Sober January is a disaster.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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