I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
