I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
