I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
