The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
