im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
