You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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