google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
well you can't waste a boner
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The best revenge is premature balding
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
