Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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