Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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