I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
