Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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