Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
