It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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