People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
