my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
