I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think my vagina is haunted
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
my poor anus
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