You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
