I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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