Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
