she smelled like a LAN party
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
