What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
