Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
