I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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