just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
