Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
