Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
