I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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