just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
