hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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