people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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