i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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