tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I understand Curling. That high.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
