I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
