I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
