i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
