...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
