i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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