He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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