he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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