Got a toothbrush?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
