I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
