woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
