i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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