She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
