She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
