Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
